Up until recently, my plans after highschool consisted of three things:
1. Get a job and work my butt off.
2. Continue working on getting a photography business started.
3. Eventually, Lord willing, get married and start a family.
I had prayed about going college, but never felt like God was leading me there. The pressure of needing a degree to be successful in life never fell upon my shoulders, and I was happy about that. I really hated the idea of going to college anyway, so the fact that I didn’t feel convicted to go (at least not yet) made me super duper happy.
A few weeks ago I went to see the musical Singing In The Rain at a local college, Lancaster Bible College. I’m rather familiar with LBC – I’ve taken two classes there with their JumpStart Program for highschoolers, I’ve seen three of the musicals they’ve presented, my dear friend Mandi works at LBC as a financial aid and admissions counselor, and a homeschool dad, Dr. Bigley, that I know well-ish teaches in the Worship & Performing Arts department at the school. Dr. Bigley directed four stage productions that I’ve been in (two musicals, two plays), he’s visited my choir a few times to share his knowledge, and I’ve taken a class of his at LBC. I admire him for his knowledge in music, and how he uses his talents to teach others and to glorify God. But anyway – like I said, I went to see Singing In The Rain the other week. I was sitting there by myself (saving seats for people), and Dr. Bigley sat down and asked me about my plans after highschool. I’m not going to go into all the details, but he talked to me about stuff like majors, benefits, mentoring, and a scholarship that would be available to me.
Since then, I’ve been confused about what I should do. Questions like Am I supposed to go to college? How would I pay for it? and Why is this happening now, rather than before? began to run through my mind.
I’m struggling with seeing why God would want me to go to college.
But sitting here, typing this up (and not knowing exactly where I’m going with all this), I’m thinking, But I don’t need to see why God wants me to go to college. If He wants me to go, I’ll go.
This morning in my devotions, I read Matthew 26. In verse 39, Jesus says, “… not as I will, but as you will.” Those words are applicable to every area in life, including whether or not He wants me to go to college. Right now, I am really hoping that I don’t have to go… but I know that I need to desire His will above all else. I know that God’s plan is what’s best for me. Haha, there’s no use in fighting the thing that’s best for me. I still don’t know what that is, but I know God will tell me in His timing.
I’m sorry this is so long. If you read all of it, props to you :). And thanks for taking your time to read it all. Maybe it’s silly of me, but I really really appreciate the fact that you took your time to read what I wrote. Thanks :).